My head hurts.

Seriously I wanted to complain to someone but I am getting tired of hearing myself complain to other people so I will tell this screen that is glaring at me.
My Head Hurts.
I don't know why, I have tried to figure out if I didn't have enough water or too much sun. Maybe a change in the weather. But nothing makes sense.
Who care though? I ask you who really cares? And I don't mean that in the way of, "nobody cares about me, my life is miserable". I mean it like this, it will go away tomorrow and will have no lasting effect on me or who I am, so who cares.

Do you ever get caught thinking about something so much, asking questions so much that you don't even know which answer you agree with any more. I know the best thing to do then is to drop it, let it go. If I don't dwell on it, there is a chance of it clearing itself up over time. That if I don't think about it for sometime I will realise one morning, as I wake up, that I know which answer I agree with. That I will see that my opinion is formed and that I like it that way.
But, here is the problem, I can't stop thinking about it. It is too important to just let it go (or is it)? I seem to think that if I think about it lots right now it will all make sense sooner. I want things to make sense right now, not later. I don't want to wait to wake up in the morning, I want the evening news version of it. I want to predict the answer and have it right. I don't just want to stab at the dark like I am so apt to do. I seem to create answers that I think I can stand by and then realise later that I cannot.
It is silly, it is all in my head, I am sure.

Update: a year ago today.

I was in India dreading the fact that I must return to this, the country of my birth and the city of my "new beginnings". I was in a country where the weather was 31 degrees plus and feeling the heat was more then I could bare; oddly enough I am now dealing with the same temperatures and wondering the same thing. I was looking into the future with fear and dread that I would end up exactly where I am, in a place I didn't want to be at the time. But here I am and it is good, strange but good.
When I returned to Canada, I was shocked by the smell of clean earth, the speed of traffic on Deerfoot, and the fact that you could see girls knees and guys without shirts. The day after I my return I went to the stampede fair grounds and saw more skin in one day then I had seen over six months over seas. I thought I would never get used to it and honestly there is still a bit of the Indian way in me when it comes to guys without shirts. Don't know what it is but I don't really like to see it. (can't explain, I know there is nothing wrong with it, it is a personal preference I guess).
I returned to 25 degrees and felt on the chilled side. long pants and a t-shirt were fine by me. Now I just want to lay naked on my bed and hope for the cool breeze to come and take me away. I am melting.
I would have never thought that a year from then I would be living with my parents still and planning on going to school. Though in the end I guess I don't know what I thought would happen. Maybe be back in India or married. Maybe in another country all together. But here I am starting school and single as ever. (which are both very good things at this time). I need time alone, to gather my thoughts (they had run helter-skelter in India and had not returned with my re-entry into this land.) It is becoming apparent to me that their return to normal is something that may never happen for me and this is all right if I just let them run free. To try and make something of them has only been cause for more discomfort then anything else. It is as though I am trying to cage a wild animal which is more graceful and lovely when left alone.
So here I am a wild being left to roam free in the wilderness of my own life. Never know what that will bring but the adventure is something to look forward to.