Postponement

On my life.
So many dreams I have and each one is postponed. It feels odd to believe that I am actually going in the right direction with anything in my life right now as each thing I attempt gets put on hold. As though I need more time to think it through and so the time is given to me unexpectedly. If that were true, that I was to walk away from each thing I am heading towards right now, I don't understand. It doesn't feel right. And the more I think about it the more sure I am that I am not to do so. That I am to push through all that is holding me back. In the past I have been given these "signs" and followed them. When things would get in the way I would decide that it must not be for me. But I can't do that this time. Even if I want to (which I do when there are brick walls, walking away is so much easier). I have to push through, trust that God will open the doors just as it seems He is closing them right now.

Ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you. Mth.7:7

There fore I say to you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink; nor about your body, what you will put on. Is not life more than food and the body more than clothing?....
Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow : they neither toil nor spin; and yet I say to you that even Solomon in all is glory was not arrayed like one of these.
Mth. 6:25&28-29

I may not be worrying about my cloths (as I have enough and i like them all) but my worries are similar in that they have to do with my well being. I worry about my heart and soul alot more then my outer appearance and I am not to think on what I will wear, then why am I to so strongly concern myself with what my life will consist of. God knows my deepest desires and longs to see me fulfilling His porpoise. So what is to stop me. I must trust in God alone and lean not on my own understanding. Which at this time is a good idea as I do not understand.