late night planning

It is late tonight, later than when I have been going to bed these days. There is this very major decision I am in the middle of making and it causes me to stay awake. My boyfriend gave me very good advise, To not stress about it for tonight. Hard part is that my mind does not turn off when the lights are switched off. If it were that easy I would lay down my full head and let it empty all over the pillow (sounds messy). EVen as I write of it now there is a sense of calm, of allowing it to work iteslf out. But on top of that is me and my mind telling me I should have it all figured out at this very moment. That I should know exactly what I am going to do and how and for how long and on and on and on...............

Needless to say there is nothing I can do at this time but sleep on it and I find plans made before bed are rash and usually not what I really wanted but me just panicing to make something happen. I cannot even write a straight sentence what makes me think I can plan my life.

LIFE

LIFE:
Full of the unexpected.
Brimming over with new paths
Topped up with joys and pains

When will things go as we think they should?
Maybe never.
At times they do but there are things mixed in that don't seem to fit right.
I have asked the question why for far to long now.
Let me now look to what outcome there is to be had.

There is no answer to the question why.
There is only the answer of what can be made of it.

I am still seemingly alone. Why? NO right or wrong answer, just cause.
What can be done with it (my aloness)? Many things in many directions, either good or bad.

If I live with God as my answer, then life will be good. It does not mean things will always go my way but instead it can always have an healthy outcome.