So unsure these days

Oh boy does my heart jump these days. It is out of shock and fear, stress and comofort. It has now been long enough since the break up for me to move on to a degree, of course there are still times of "what the f--- I don't get it?!!!" but then I remind myself that no matter how strange life is it is in Gods hands. So now the question I have seen looming before me is this
"WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO NEXT?"
It is a beautifully scary question. The things that I see as my desires in direction seem far out of my reach. I feel a little imobalized right now. A little stuned at the thought of going to University for the first time in my life. My mom says aI can do it but I am sorry to say that is hard to believe. The only shooling I have done is hair school. That is it, no other system has had the pleasure of knowing my mental skills. I was home schooled all the way through, from grade one to where I am today. 27 and never schooled. Scares me, that is all there is to it.
And on top of this all I have to let go of my dream to get married. It seems like it is not to be in my life, even though that has been my only dream. I have to trade it in for one less improtant to me. Eveyone says to follow your dreams and not to let nything stop you from acheiving those dreams but when it involves more then one person it is beyond my control. I actually have to let go of it and go for a different one. Strange for me. But it has come to the point now where I can't see my dreams coming true even if they were to be right before my eyes. Yes, I am becoming jaded, fogive me.