New times to begin

Odd how this life turns and curves in and out of new and old situations. As I head towards this new stage in my life old things try to haunt me and new ones try the same. To say that I have grown would be an understatement. I am, for instance, in the midst of a well explored, typical standing. I find myself, once again, attracted to a single of the male sex. We met a short while ago and I enjoyed the time spent in his presence. But that is where it may very well end and that is fine. Of course the dreamer in me, the prisoner of hope that I am will automatically want more to come of it. Yet if that is to be the case I will not know nor will I try to find out. I am leaving it entirely up to God. I have decided that if it is to progress then it will be Gods doing not mine. I refuse to follow the same path I have taken many times. The one where I try to know the future and then make it happen. Besides, What the heck am I thinking. I'm about to head out on a journey to the other side of the world for a good half year. What makes me think that anything could happen before I go. I have been a part of a few long distance "relationships" and I can say they are most difficult to read or understand.
So yes there is a part of me that really wants to hope that this thing could grow into a real friendship to become a deeper relationship to become the fulfillment of my dreams. But the rest of me is certain that this is not at all possible. I admit I am skeptical. What would make this one at all different. Since I was 15 I have wanted marriage only to be fooled, duped into situations that go no where near such a thing. Why should this be any different. I'll need a lot to convince me.
In this case I will go to India and forget this dream even if for a short while. I will allow myself to be free from dwelling on it and longing for it. I will take a break from speculating about the future and leave it where it belongs, with God.