Results are in

It is now known that I am a hairdresser (of sorts). I have been sent and received my results of the practical. I was a little shocked at the mark but I passed that is what matters. The one that I stressed over the most were the finger waves (a style no longer in use but still a test item). I got 4 out of 5. I had feared a zero. I've decided that if anyone were to wish for such a tyle I would be the woman to give it.

My life as of late is strangely busy. Always there is something for me to do. I appreciate it but at times I stand back and wonder if these are all the things I want in life. I step out of my world to look at it from a new perspective and wonder if this is all I had dreamed it would be. As I stand there, on the outside I realize that I had not dreamt of this at all. I had only dreamt one dream and you all know what that was. So out here looking in I am pleased. Yet,.....There is something that I fear I am missing. Not the marriage thing, I do not fear I am missing that I know I am, and frankly that is all right. NO, what I fear is that I might be missing something even more. Something larger. Something I am to be a part of and yet not be the whole of.

Stepping outside of me I look to where I came from
A shell of this earthly being
It holds what is real in its fake sense of life
The truth is beyond me
I know not where

I turn to my left and then to my right
The trees all around me uproot themselves
They raise their hands to the heavens
And as I draw nearer them, they fly
Dragging their hearts in the sand
They leave me here alone

I look up to hear the sounds of the stars
They cry ultrasonic tears
Some for joy, some for lifes endings
They raise their eyes to the heavens beyond
turning from me, sending shivers down my spine
I am left alone again

I steal beyond the stars
a place I should not enter in
It holds what is life in its realm of truth
I fear not the entering but the being left out
That teares me apart at the seems.