What is it that will cause some of the older generation to come away from a funeral and say that it was lovely? Why is life easier to handle when we are listening to one type of music? Why does life seem so far from ending and yet when the end is near we are afraid of what is on the other side of the end? Where is the heart of a lover? Where is the mind of a lost soul? Why can't I figure out what to do with my life? I have had thrown into it so many things that I am now fully lost. Where did the sensible confusion of childhood go?

As I was walking home from work yesterday I was listening to Boards of Canada, "Music has the Right to Children". My confused life looked even more so with the melancholy of the tunes that rung through my head, yet.......It was the most peaceful I have felt in so long. When the turmoil is more than I can handle I loose all sense of fight. How can I fight that which is beyond my reach? My sword does not fall that far. Nor does my lance reach to that height.

I want to convince people to be something they are not. I want to force them to believe something, or to feel something. This thing in my heart which I hold so dear, I want it to be theirs too. If you are eating a wonderful meal and you know it is good to eat but the one next to you sees it as a thing wholly different, you cannot change their minds.

I want to scream in hopes that this would solve all my problems, instead I lean all of my heart on God and In His mind boggling peace I am over-whelmed