I now will ask a question again of all of you and again I expect no answer.

Anyhow here comes the question. How is it one can have one emotion so strongly entrenched in their being that even when they feel they have removed it from themselves forever it still comes back in a flash of flame and fire? Okay so you all read that question and said 'what the heck does she mean? Are we even at the right blog spot here? She never makes sense but this has gone to far' Well let me explain what I mean. I will use myself as an example for at this time I am in such a complexity.

okay so it all goes back to before Christmas and through till now. Actually it goes a lot further back then that. I have always had a hard time with being lonely. Now it is not because people do not like me or don't hang out with me (no really this is true) It is because it is an emotion that has always eaten me from the inside out. So as of late (before Christmas) I have been feeling less lonely to the point of wondering if I should ever want to live with someone again (I like the freedom). So I returned after my trip and have been consumed with this feeling of aloneness. Now some would be sorry for me others would tell me to suck it up and move on. Mainly I post this question not so you can feel sorry for me. Yuck no! I post it for it frustrates me. It is not even so frustrating in that I am alone but in the fact that it feels like a math equation that I cannot figure. Like sitting to figure out why the earth goes round and not understanding.